Recently I had a bad case of photographers block; nothing around seemed interesting enough to shoot. While on hiatus my makeshift darkroom started becoming a mess, stuff was piled on my table once reserved for printing. My cameras sat loaded with film but otherwise ignored. I had grand visions of capturing the fall colors in all their glory, but I couldn’t get my act together to in time and as my work called me to sea I missed out yet again. The nice thing about fall is that there is always next year. So another fall came and went and I have nothing to show for it. C’est la vi.
This was my first formal case of photography block in years of photography. I thought it might do me in and I would just move on and focus on another hobby I enjoy. I started wondering if other people went through this and came to the conclusion that they must. Maybe that’s why there is so much cool stuff on eBay. I have guilt pangs everytime I see my cameras and darkroom equipment gathering dust. All this stuff that I rescued, will it just become another add on Craigslist? Film photography and a wet lab takes a lot of work, some money, and perserverance. So I titled this rant “Keeping the faith”. I would hate for the muse to call and not be ready to answer. But what can I do to find inspiration? For me it’s a matter of getting out and exploring new places I haven’t been. It’s contacting models and scheduling pin-up shoots. It’s not burning myself out on test rolls and buying every orphan camera I see. It’s time to soldier on. To quote Floggin Molly, “the sun never shines on closed doors”.
So I cleared the table off and set up my trays. I processed a few rolls and made some prints of family and friends that I’ve shot over the last few months and I realised I am a lousy candid photographer. I’ve always wanted to be a good candid photographer but to be honest I’m terrible at it. People never look their best when I take a candid, but my candids don’t come out honest either. I can’t capture the essence of the people I see. Maybe it’s my camera tipping my hand, they always look up and give me an akward smile and seem so stiff. While in the darkroom I had an epiphany. Rather then wasting energy trying to be the photographer that I would like to be I need to focus on being the photographer that I am. I’m not a “don’t think just shoot” type of person. I compose, I judge lighting, I do all the things that Lomography tells you not to. Despite my anal retentive nature I somehow manage to get prints that I’m very happy with using cameras with minimal control like the Holga, Brownie Hawkeye Flash and Diana. There’s magic in plastic I suppose.
For me, the winter seems to be when I do my best work. Maybe I’m more reflective, maybe it’s the contrast of dark bark of a bare tree against cold grey skies. Whatever it is my work always looks best when shot this time of year. I’ve got some vacation time coming up and I plan on doing some exploring with my gear. I’m excited about shooting again.
Death comes like a thief in the night
To steal while you sleep
The soul’s flickering light
Well maybe it’s then
She said, I’ll see you again
Because the son never shines on closed doors
Comments
You’re not alone ! I feel exactly like this sometimes…
I’m the same way.
My Holga, Diana, Cresta and both of my Duaflex’s haven’t been touched in two months and they’re both loaded with film.
I’m just not feeling it lately…
I feel the same way, Still got a roll of Fisheye shots waiting to be developed, a Vivitar IC 100 roll that only has 1 shot taken in it, and a Holga that misses me dearly.
you are so very correct. i’ve now been in a slump for several months..but i think that after visiting an urban exploration site, it inspires me to find such places and take photos at night-
I’m happy to report that I shot 4 rolls of 120 and 2 rolls of 135 this weekend. I even started processing the rolls. My slump appears to be over thanks to some fresh and somewhat rare snow.
Thanks for this: “While in the darkroom I had an epiphany. Rather then wasting energy trying to be the photographer that I would like to be I need to focus on being the photographer that I am. “